Refreshed by the Living Water

Holley and I were blessed to attend Shandon's women's ministry retreat in Charlotte March 7-8. My dear friend and mentor, Maria Owens, led the retreat and did a marvelous job. The theme for the weekend was "Refreshed by the Living Water." Holley and I had a wonderful time together and were amazed at how the Lord spoke so clearly to both of us.

While sharing her testimony on Friday night, Maria quoted Jeremiah 29:11-13 (our Dad's life verse). We've all shared, memorized and claimed this verse a million times before, but the second part of verse 13 jumped out at me Friday night almost as if I had never heard it before. "You will seek me and find me, WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART." 

Umm... ALL my heart, huh? So I can't hang on to this little piece and work (fill in the blank) out on my own?

I was convicted in that very moment and could sense the Spirit telling me, "No, Shelley, you've got to surrender all those little things to me. Lay them down."

It was truly an "Ebenezer" moment. 

Living a surrendered life is far more satisfying and glorifying than the alternative. But because we are broken and fallen people, we sometimes turn to our own devices  and temporarily forget what we know is best, holy, true. I found myself in this boat that Friday night when this thought hit me like a tidal wave: I am not experiencing God's peace on this (fill in the blank issue) because I'm not surrendering every piece of my heart to Him. 

Sure, I've prayed about it, dwelt on it, processed it. But I haven't surrendered it.  

Of course this is not something that intentionally happens. I genuinely set out and desire to seek the Lord with my whole heart. But sometimes we get in the way of ourselves. Sometimes we are tricked into believing it's easier to hold on to certain things in an effort to fix it on our own. I trust you with this 95% of my life, God, but I can handle this 5% on my own. 

Anybody else with me on this? 

Good ole Webster defines surrender like this:

: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
: to give the control or use of (something) to someone else

I think that spells it out pretty clearly. To truly live surrendered to Jesus, the gospel... we must give Him total control and daily die to ourselves. We must daily crucify our pride, our "wants" and our self-righteous attitudes so we can be "a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful... ready for every good work." (2 Timothy 2:21) 

Could God use just 95% of me? Yes. But he deserves, is worthy of, and has commanded me to seek Him with 100% of my heart. 

I came across this quote in one of Robertson McQuilkin's books recently that sums all of this up perfectly: "Unconditional surrender and confidence in God’s trustworthiness are necessary to experience the fullness of the life we are meant to have in Christ because they are the very essence of God. Without our daily dying to self and trusting in God’s faithfulness, we are not able to experience the fullness of life God intends for us to have."  

During Saturday's retreat session, Maria walked us through some practical insights to living this refreshed, unconditionally surrendered life. Here are a few: 

1. Make a habit of daily repentance.  
"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus..." (Acts 3:19-20)

2. Remember that God Himself is our only source and supplier of refreshment... and praise Him for that! Any other source will leave us drained and dry. Clean out your "supply closet." Get rid of the illegitimate and ineffective supplies you have used in the past and evaluate your level of refreshment in key areas of spiritual discipline (prayer, Scripture memory, Bible study, worship, giving).

3. Be deliberate and intentional about restocking your "supply closet" with the proper supplies. What are some things that fuel and renew you spiritually and physically? For me it's journaling, running, quiet time with an open Bible, my prayer list and a hot cup of coffee, one-on-one fellowship with someone dear to me. 
 

I've gone back through my notes several times and keep praying that God will continue to rid me of myself so I can surrender ALL I have for His glory. We cannot experience true refreshment or "life in abundance" (John 10:10) until we seek Him with all of our heart. Praise God that, when we do, we will always find Him. 

((Jeremiah 31:25))

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”