8 years

When I was a little girl, my dad and I used to turn the music up loud and dance together in our living room. When we were in the car, we would turn on our favorite song and roll the windows down and sing. We shared a mutual love and passion for music. To this day, I can hear a James Taylor song or the first note of Van Morrison's "Have I Told You Lately" and instantly, I'm dancing in the living room with my dad again. Now that I have a child of my own, I think it's one of God's sweetest and kindest blessings that Levi's absolute favorite thing to do is turn on the music and dance with me every single day. 

In those moments, I can't help but think of my dad. On this day 8 years ago I told him "I love you" for the last time. So much has changed in those 8 years, but God has not. He is still the same loving God that He was on November 22, 2008. I still miss my dad every day, but the Lord has rooted invaluable truths deep within my heart that have helped me carry on over the years and have drawn me closer to the heart of Christ. In the words of Charles Spurgeon: “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." It is through loss that I gained a fresh perspective on what and Who will never change: 

1. God is Sovereign. And nothing and no one can interfere with that. "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2

2. God is good. Even when the loss is great. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11 

3. God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. "...but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5 

4. God's plans are perfect and better than ours. And it's ok if we don't understand... because we will- one glorious day. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8 

5. We were made for eternity. This earth is not our home. Hallelujah! "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

6. There's nothing like a father's love. My dad was an amazing, godly man who showed me and told me every day how much he loved me. How much more does our Heavenly Father love us! "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." 1 John 3:1

7. His grace is sufficient in all things. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corin. 12:9 

8. This life (and the one to come) is about His glory. "And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high." Hebrews 1:3

I miss my dad. Plain and simple. I wish I could tell him I love him one more time. I sure wish Levi could have met him. But through it all, the Lord has used my dad's passing to give me a laser sharp focus on what is important in this brief life. It means we rest in and rely on the faithful Rock of Ages. We hug a little tighter, blow bubbles in the yard a little longer, say I love you often, laugh and let the little things go, take more pictures, invest fully in those we love, and turn the music up loud and dance. 

I'm eternally grateful that over the last 8 years the Lord has used the absence of my dad to help reveal His presence to me. What a good, good Father. I can't wait to hear that heavenly music play and dance with him again. 

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
 Phil. 3:8