The Secret for the Seasons

August is here and that means one thing: we are inching our way towards fall! As per usual, we've had a busy and exciting summer discipling and bonding with our students. We've done all sorts of awesome things like: Journey camp, VBX, paint wars, a slumber party at our house with my 9th and 10th grade Sunday school girls, lake day with the high schoolers, island camping trip with the middle schoolers (this would be the one event I did not attend this summer because, well, CAMPING), day trip to Charleston, Ryan's weekly Bible study, my Bible study, and on top of all that… Ryan’s full-time seminary workload!

Nevertheless, Ryan has done a wonderful job balancing his many roles this summer and continues to amaze me as he leads and serves in so many different ways. We are both worn.slap.out but so grateful, honored, and humbled that THIS is the life and mission field God has called us to. We've got a back to school party coming up next week and that will round out summer 2014. Which brings me back to my first statement: fall is almost here. Which means summer WILL NOT last forever. (Insert praise hands emoji here.)

God, in His sovereignty, planned the calendar and seasons in perfect fashion. Just like the weather, His people change and come in and out of seasons of life. God has us in this particular season on purpose, for a purpose and knows just how much summer, fall, winter and spring we need. We cannot will ourselves into a different season (weather or otherwise) no matter how hard we try. But we CAN glorify Him today, exactly where He has us, and trust that the Creator of the universe is weaving our current season {of grieving, waiting, rejoicing or whatever it may be for you} into the beautiful tapestry of our lives. 

In my late teens and early twenties, I got really good at wishing and planning for the next season of my life. Never truly content with wherever I was at the time and always yearning for something just out of my reach. It was hard to understand at the time, but at 4 months shy of 28, I can look back with better spiritual vision and clearly see that the Lord was teaching me to be solely dependent on Him during those years.  

This summer, the Lord has reminded me all over again that there is something new to be learned in every season. He has all but written in the sky for me a very wise reminder from the apostle Paul: 

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  (Philippians 4:11-12)

Next to Jesus, Paul is my favorite Bible figure. This man experienced nearly every form of persecution possible, yet the words of his mouth and the meditation of his heart from a prison cell in Rome was: I have learned to be content.  

Paul seemingly mastered this concept as we see him write the same thing again in his pastoral epistle to Timothy, whom he mentored, saying “godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6) Paul didn’t need anything else. He didn’t know what his future held but he knew Who held his future… and he was content with that. The same is true for us. We may not know what is next to come, but we know Who will meet us there and THAT IS ENOUGH. 

The harder we chase after contentment in desires that are NOT of God (status, attention, affirmation, possessions, money, selfish motives, our own fleshly desires), the more discontent we will become. Ultimately, His sovereign grace aligns our heart’s desires with His and we find He is always what we are searching for anyway. 

So what do we do when we feel like our life is perpetually summer? Abide with Him. Be faithful in little so we can be faithful in much. All the while, the Vinedresser strengthens and prunes us so that, “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” (John 15:2) Pruning in this season means abundant fruit in the next. But not until we are attached to (and content with) the Vine.


Like the apostle Paul, we continually learn the “secret” to life is being content in Jesus alone-- not Jesus+something else. When we find our satisfaction in Christ, our love for Him deepens and blossoms as winter turns into spring and spring turns into summer... 

...Fall will come right on time, when He finds we are ready for it.

From our Charleston trip on Tuesday

((Isaiah 58:11))

“And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”

Ordination

After many months of preparing, an interview with a hand-selected ordination council, and a beautiful ordination service last night at our church... Ryan is now officially Reverend Ryan Brannan! We are grateful that our families and our dear friends from church could be a part of the service and that many of his mentors in the faith could play a role in his ordination council. Some of which helped to spiritually shape him during his teen years and others which he still meets with regularly. It was a special, wonderful evening but Ryan will be the first to say: it was not about him. 

Last night was about Jesus. It was about the redeeming work the Lord alone has done in Ryan's life. It was about the passions God has rooted in him to lead spiritually as a husband, to minister to students, their families and to seek out the lost and share with them the Good News of Jesus Christ. It was about God's grace that has covered him through the peaks and the valleys and the grace that has restored him in every way to be the man God has ordained him to be.

I am so proud of my sweet husband and his commitment to God's call on his life. His enthusiasm for the Gospel and his willingness to go above and beyond inspires me on a daily basis. He blesses me with his constant thoughtfulness, encouragement, and attentiveness. The joy he has in his heart overflows into his life... and it is a contagious gift. 

I knew in the 9th grade that I would marry Ryan, but I never knew how God would bless our lives the way He has and would give us the opportunity to minister together as husband and wife. He is so faithful. Thank you, God, for this man, my husband. And thank you, Ryan, for loving Jesus more than you love me. 

Rev. Ryan Brannan. The love of my life.

((2 Corinthians 5:17-21))

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.  Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.  For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

It is so sweet to me that the Lord chose the first full week in our new home to be Holy Week. What a clear reminder to keep our eyes fixed on the Main Thing and to remind us that a house and all the pretty things that fill it are just that: things.

As I have reflected on Holy Week, the Lord has brought the faithfulness of Jesus to my mind several times. I often listen to Sinclair Ferguson's sermons online and searched through the archives this week to prepare my mind and heart for Easter. With Jesus in the Upper Room is a great one and explains Jesus' last meal with His disciples and tells of His unconditional love for them... until the very end of his life (John 13:1). The final hours of Jesus' life are so tragic, but so symbolic of His sinless, faithful life. I am amazed at His steadfastness until the bitter end. 

Jesus makes His triumphal entry into the city on Palm Sunday, eats the Last Supper with His disciples on Maundy Thursday, is crucified on Good Friday, and is resurrected to life on Easter Sunday. An empty tomb. The promise of all promises fulfilled. Our hope and eternity secured. It's a marvelous thing. The whole story of the Bible points to this scene. Old Testament believers prophesied of this moment and longed for this Savior, Jesus, who died and rose again.

This is the Savior, who on Thursday evening, the day before He knew He was going to die, "earnestly desired" to share the Passover meal with His disciples. He had eagerly anticipated eating with them to celebrate the great things God had done for His people. 

Jesus foretold His death and betrayal and was awaiting unjust suffering at the time of this meal. But He was JOYFUL to be with his friends nonetheless. At the table, Jesus has a unique consciousness that the betrayer is present at the supper (Luke 22:21). He had washed the very feet of Judas Iscariot, His friend, and then Judas left the room to betray him.

Jesus then foretells Peter's betrayal. What is happening here? Can you imagine your closest friends turning their back on you EVER much less all within the same hour?? But Jesus, in His perfect holiness, did not get angry with them or beg them to be loyal. He extended grace to each of them. And then He went to the Garden to pray. He was in such agony anticipating His death that He was sweating blood. And even still, He remained in close communion with His Father and prayed.

Betrayed by His disciples, forsaken by His Father, treated as a criminal, crucified by the men He came to save. Yet faithful still.   

Each of these things are powerful in their own right, but when you look at them in light of Jesus' final hours on Earth, it is simply astounding. Jesus knew what Good Friday held for Him and He chose to remain faithful, joyful, prayerful until He surrendered His spirit and proclaimed, "It is finished." (John 19:30)

We will never be able to comprehend what Jesus experienced in those last days and hours of His life. But we CAN follow His example. And, by His grace, we can remain faithful, joyful, and prayerful imitators of Christ no matter what awaits us in this life. 

Happy Easter!

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

:::

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Homeowners!

We closed on our home Tuesday, April 8th and could not be more excited or more grateful!! After (nearly) 3 years in a one bedroom apartment, we are thrilled to now be in our very own HOME! While we will not miss living in such tight quarters or hearing everyone and everything around us; I am thankful for our time at CIU, the memories we made, and for the countless ways it grew us as a couple. 

Over the last few years, God has answered many specific prayers about our future. We prayed that He would show us where Ryan could serve in student ministry full time. God was faithful to answer. We prayed that He would provide a way (in every sense of the word) for Ryan to finish his degree and attend seminary. God was faithful to answer. We prayed that He would guide us specifically to the house and community He wanted us to live in. He opened and closed many doors over the last couple of years... but was faithful to answer. 

When we got the green light to start looking, we knew in our minds exactly what we were searching for. We fell in love with this house instantly and prayed that God would be very clear to show us if this was the one for us. We put our best offer in on March 2. We decided we would walk away if they were not able to accept it. As God would have it, on 2:22 p.m. that day, we were signing papers to finalize the deal for this house. Ryan and I looked at the time on my phone and then at each other- stunned. I cannot make this stuff up. The Lord is so kind and once again, so faithful to answer our prayers.

This house is *perfect* for us-- it is more than what we need and everything that we wanted. It gives us space to host our family, friends and students, room to (Lord willing) one day grow our family, a back patio for Ryan to grill, sidewalks for me to run, a fenced backyard for Finley, and will be used as the gift it is- to minister to other people. I look forward to the many memories we will make in this home and for the things God will do while we are here. I pray we will use every square inch for the praise of His glory. 

This was my sweet, sweet view on the first Saturday morning in our house :) My verses for Saturday from my chronological reading plan had me in 1 Samuel 12 and I thought verse 24 was so perfectly fitting: "Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you."

((Hebrews 3:4))

For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.

Refreshed by the Living Water

Holley and I were blessed to attend Shandon's women's ministry retreat in Charlotte March 7-8. My dear friend and mentor, Maria Owens, led the retreat and did a marvelous job. The theme for the weekend was "Refreshed by the Living Water." Holley and I had a wonderful time together and were amazed at how the Lord spoke so clearly to both of us.

While sharing her testimony on Friday night, Maria quoted Jeremiah 29:11-13 (our Dad's life verse). We've all shared, memorized and claimed this verse a million times before, but the second part of verse 13 jumped out at me Friday night almost as if I had never heard it before. "You will seek me and find me, WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART." 

Umm... ALL my heart, huh? So I can't hang on to this little piece and work (fill in the blank) out on my own?

I was convicted in that very moment and could sense the Spirit telling me, "No, Shelley, you've got to surrender all those little things to me. Lay them down."

It was truly an "Ebenezer" moment. 

Living a surrendered life is far more satisfying and glorifying than the alternative. But because we are broken and fallen people, we sometimes turn to our own devices  and temporarily forget what we know is best, holy, true. I found myself in this boat that Friday night when this thought hit me like a tidal wave: I am not experiencing God's peace on this (fill in the blank issue) because I'm not surrendering every piece of my heart to Him. 

Sure, I've prayed about it, dwelt on it, processed it. But I haven't surrendered it.  

Of course this is not something that intentionally happens. I genuinely set out and desire to seek the Lord with my whole heart. But sometimes we get in the way of ourselves. Sometimes we are tricked into believing it's easier to hold on to certain things in an effort to fix it on our own. I trust you with this 95% of my life, God, but I can handle this 5% on my own. 

Anybody else with me on this? 

Good ole Webster defines surrender like this:

: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
: to give the control or use of (something) to someone else

I think that spells it out pretty clearly. To truly live surrendered to Jesus, the gospel... we must give Him total control and daily die to ourselves. We must daily crucify our pride, our "wants" and our self-righteous attitudes so we can be "a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful... ready for every good work." (2 Timothy 2:21) 

Could God use just 95% of me? Yes. But he deserves, is worthy of, and has commanded me to seek Him with 100% of my heart. 

I came across this quote in one of Robertson McQuilkin's books recently that sums all of this up perfectly: "Unconditional surrender and confidence in God’s trustworthiness are necessary to experience the fullness of the life we are meant to have in Christ because they are the very essence of God. Without our daily dying to self and trusting in God’s faithfulness, we are not able to experience the fullness of life God intends for us to have."  

During Saturday's retreat session, Maria walked us through some practical insights to living this refreshed, unconditionally surrendered life. Here are a few: 

1. Make a habit of daily repentance.  
"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus..." (Acts 3:19-20)

2. Remember that God Himself is our only source and supplier of refreshment... and praise Him for that! Any other source will leave us drained and dry. Clean out your "supply closet." Get rid of the illegitimate and ineffective supplies you have used in the past and evaluate your level of refreshment in key areas of spiritual discipline (prayer, Scripture memory, Bible study, worship, giving).

3. Be deliberate and intentional about restocking your "supply closet" with the proper supplies. What are some things that fuel and renew you spiritually and physically? For me it's journaling, running, quiet time with an open Bible, my prayer list and a hot cup of coffee, one-on-one fellowship with someone dear to me. 
 

I've gone back through my notes several times and keep praying that God will continue to rid me of myself so I can surrender ALL I have for His glory. We cannot experience true refreshment or "life in abundance" (John 10:10) until we seek Him with all of our heart. Praise God that, when we do, we will always find Him. 

((Jeremiah 31:25))

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

MB Marathon {less a race than a journey}

On December 1, 2008, 9 days after losing my dad, I began training for my first half marathon. I was fresh in the throes of grief and knew I needed to set my eyes on a goal... not only to help me cope, but to do something that would honor my dad and his long, courageous fight against leukemia. 

I didn't want to run just any race. I wanted to run the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon. My parents were born and raised in Myrtle Beach... high school sweethearts and Miss Sun Fun and Mr. Seahawk Baseball, respectively. I've spent every summer at the beach since I can remember and claim it as my second home. MB was a big part of my dad and is a big part of me. 

Not only was this race in my parent's hometown but the proceeds benefited the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And the most divine part of it all... the race was routed to run past the cemetery where my dad is buried. A place where I stood less than three months earlier to say my last goodbyes. I didn't just want to run this race- I needed to. That race was good medicine for me and the beginning of a very long road.

((WIS caught wind of the story in 2009 and aired an interview which you can watch here. You may be prompted to sign into Facebook to view it.))

Fast forward and here I am. After racing 3 half marathons and a dozen other 5ks and 10ks over the last 8 years, I would have NEVER imagined training for a marathon. I never (EVER!) thought I could run a step past 13.1 miles. 

Thanks to a great summer of running and building some base mileage, I went into the fall prepared to race a 4th half marathon. But between crazy schedules and date conflicts with the races I wanted to run, I couldn't make it happen and decided to just continue with my training regardless. Somewhere along the way I caught the marathon bug. I tried to let it go but my BFF, Megan, persistently convinced me that it was attainable. I could do it. Go for it. So that's what I did. 

October 7 was the start of 18 weeks of marathon training. I am grateful to God that I was able to successfully complete all of my long runs and remain healthy, injury free and motivated for the entirety. Ryan, Holley and Megan were an amazing support system- praying for me and encouraging me day after day, week after week. I was ready, both mentally and physically, when I arrived to the starting line of the Myrtle Beach Marathon on February 15, 2014, but I arrived a different woman than the one in 2009.  

Since my dad passed away 5 years ago, I have covered hundreds of miles and journeyed to a place emotionally and spiritually I never thought I would reach. When I look back on these last 5 years, I am astounded by God's wholly sufficient grace. The pain, once palpable, has subsided. The sorrow and despair that were once all-consuming have been replaced with the hope of heaven and the joy of eternity. The Lord has taught me how to trust Him even when I don't understand His plan. I have learned to rely on His steadfast faithfulness and have "treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." (Job 23:12) 

I miss my dad deeply, right down to my bones- but I count it a privilege to share his story and the legacy he has left behind. A story the Lord has crafted so beautifully for my family to tell. I've said it here before and I'll say it again... Jesus' words about Lazarus in John 11:4 are true for Larry Davis: “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.”

I ran those 26.2 miles on Saturday with peace in my heart and with confidence that God makes no mistakes. I ran past the cemetery a second time, but this time with praise to the God who has used my dad's death to draw people to Himself and who has been my strength, my song and my portion through it all.

When I got to the end of the race on Saturday and started making my way past the orange corridors to the finish line, a man in the crowd caught my eye. A man who looked just like my dad. So much so that my heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I had to look twice. Tears immediately welled in my eyes and I thanked God for His tender, personal love for me. For all of us. I crossed the finish line with our song, Van Morrison's "Have I Told You Lately," playing on my iPod Shuffle. He truly makes no mistakes. 

This journey through loss has not been in vain. Though the Lord has taken away, He has given me sight to focus on the MAIN goal of this vapor we have of a life: "to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." (Acts 20:24)

It's not been me running this race... the Lord has carried me every step of the way. To Him be the glory both now and forever. 
 

My sweet hubby, constant encourager and prayer warrior. So incredibly blessed to call him mine!

Meeting my boo for a kiss and some water at the halfway point!

Finish line in sight!

Almost there...

The best in-laws and cheerleaders a girl could have!!

Crossed the finish line in 4 hours and 51 minutes. My thoughtful husband surprised me with a new Pandora charm for my bracelet when I was done. So, so sweet.

((Acts 20:24))

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace."