Less like Jonah, More like Jesus

photo by my dearest Sally at Heart and Glory Photography

This morning as I was folding the laundry I prayed for the Holy Spirit to open my ears, my eyes, my mind and my heart for whatever the day would hold. I prayed for my people, one by one, as I folded each item of their clothing and thanked God for another day to be wife and mom. 

I've had a hard couple of weeks with Levi. Nothing serious, just normal things that every parent to preschoolers endure. He is an amazing kid- smart, athletic, funny. But at three and a half he has developed his own (strong) will. And as his parents, we've been given the great task of shepherding that will of his towards the will of God. 

In a moment of confession during my prayer/laundry time this morning, the Lord indeed opened my eyes to a weak spot in my parenting. But He also opened my heart to His grace... 

These last couple of weeks I have been simultaneously disciplining Levi for not listening the first time I ask him to do something and also writing a commentary on Jonah for my Old Testament class. It seems obvious that I would make the connection before now, but here's proof that when we invite the Holy Spirit into our problems, He will certainly give us vision to see where we should repent and turn back to God. 

The story of Jonah is one of redemption. Jonah is given an assignment by God to take His Word to the people of Nineveh. Instead of obeying the first time, Jonah flees to Joppa to catch a boat to Tarshish- the exact opposite direction of Nineveh. Aboard this boat to Tarshish, Jonah and the other sailors are caught in a storm. They cast lots and Jonah was thrown into the sea to calm the storm. God provides a big fish to swallow Jonah and there he stays for three days and three nights (a foreshadowing of Christ's burial and resurrection!) praying and contemplating his choices. 

At first glance it seems that being swallowed by a big fish is not the best case scenario for Jonah. But a closer look reveals that God "appointed" this big fish to rescue him. Inside the fish Jonah prays for mercy and deliverance and then the fish ejects him onto dry land. Jonah is given a second chance to deliver God's message to Nineveh and he obeys. 

You see, this obedience problem is not just with three and a half year olds. It was a problem for Jonah and it's a problem for me and you. But the good news is, we have a Savior to rescue us from ourselves. He provides a big fish, second chances, and unending grace. His desire is always for his children to obey the first time, but He knows we are not perfect. Most of the time we are more like Jonah than we are like Jesus and we run the opposite direction of our God-given assignment. 

So as I put away the clothes this morning, I thank God for His Holy Spirit and His Word that is "breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16) I pray the next time I'm tempted to be frustrated over someone else's sin, I will remember the grace and kindness of my Heavenly Father who desires my obedience the first time too.  

The same God who rescued Jonah is the same God who rescues Levi and me. He is our patient and perfect Parent, "a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." (Jonah 4:2) 

A Decade.

Big thank you to the lovely and talented Heart and Glory Photography for our family pictures. 

Today marks ten years since the passing of my dad. It’s been a decade since I’ve heard his voice. A decade of life that he was not here to experience with us. While much of the sting of grief has subsided, there will always be an ache and longing to have him here to see our children grow up, to hug him, and to hear his wisdom and laughter. But the Lord, in His kindness, has carried me through the heartache and has “redeemed the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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Over this decade God has graciously replaced my paralyzing grief and anxiety with a new song. A song of peace and joy. Joy because I was his daughter for nearly 22 years. Joy because of the Gospel and the promise of a new heaven and a new earth. Joy because I can look back on a decade and see His hand of faithfulness. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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When I remember my dad, I remember his steadfast faith. He was not perfect, as none of us are. But he stood firm on the truth of God’s Word and modeled for me an unwavering love of Christ and of the spiritual disciplines of prayer and Scripture memorization. Through cancer and constant affliction from this “thorn in the flesh,” he was never shaken. Not because he was a flawless human being, but because he was deeply rooted in Christ Jesus. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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When God gave me “rooted” as my word for the year, I didn’t know all the ways He would use it to minister to me. As each day and month has passed in 2018 I’ve seen this concept unfold in the roses in my front yard and in the spiritual pruning of my heart. As I come to this ten year anniversary and the close of 2018, I now see that God chose “rooted” not just for me, but as a way to commemorate my dad’s life. 

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His life reminds me of the bigger Story. As followers of Christ, we are planted in the Good Soil and refreshed by the Living Water so that we “may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, THAT HE MAY BE GLORIFIED.” (Isaiah 61:3)⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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May we each experience joy in all seasons as we plant our roots deeply in Him. I pray that God would till the soil of faith to bear fruit that tells of His goodness for decades to come. 

This is my story, this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

Canaan {12 Months}

There are just no words to explain our love for Canaan- our sweet one year old! I don't know how a year has passed so quickly but I am sure that our love for him has grown with each passing day. He is incredibly sweet and snuggly and really loves his people. He lights up when he sees his Dada, is so excited to play with big brother, is always in Mama's arms or at my feet, and adores dropping the ball for Finley (aka "Dah"). He is the most precious little boy-- my heart truly skips a beat for my cute little buddy. 

My perspective this time around has been much different than with Levi. I am more relaxed and more at peace with who I am as a mom (and in my abilities!). With that said, God has calmed my worries and fears enough to help me soak in Canaan and truly enjoy this first year. Other than the first few weeks of nursing through the night, I can't think of a time that I was stressed or really that overwhelmed. He was so perfectly made for our family that it feels like we brought him home from the hospital and never skipped a beat. God has graciously blessed and eased our transition to a family of four. I couldn't imagine our lives without him and I'm eternally grateful that God allowed us to be his parents.

Size: (almost) 19 lb lil peanut :), size 4 diapers, 12 month clothes
Eat: 24 ounces of whole milk each day in sippy cup. He still lovessss yogurt, cereal bars, goldfish, chicken nuggets, veggie straws, bananas, mandarin oranges and really any fruit. Trying really hard to get some good nutrition in him but it's hard.  
Sleep: sleeps 7/7:30 pm-8:30 am. Naps 10:30 am-12:30 and 2:30-4:30 pm. Thank you Jesus for the gift of sleep! Starting to occasionally let him skip morning nap and just take one long nap after lunch (12:30-3:30)
Milestones: 
~has top tooth!
~babbling mama... finally!! He can now say Dada, Mama and Dah (for dog) :)
Likes: dancing to music cannot be overstated. This kid loves to jam!! He loves to play with Levi's workbench and absolutely loves his loveys. 
Dislikes: his highchair :( He'll sit contently for about 5 minutes and then he's done. So I have to make sure he shovels in as much food as possible before he melts down. 

Canaan {11 Months}

Size: 18.5 lbs on home scale, size 4 diapers, size 9-12 month clothes
Eat: Drinks 5 ounces of milk 4 times a day. Eats 3 meals and snacks. LOVES yogurt, breakfast bars, and veggie straws. 
Sleep: Sleeps 7/7:30 pm-8/8:30 am. Naps from 10-12 in the morning and 2:30-4 pm roughly. 
Milestones: 
~says "hey dada" and waves
~pulls up to stand on everything
~walks with his walker 
~scales furniture 
Likes: dancing to music!! Playing with Legos, being right beside big brother, "throwing" the ball to Finley, standing up to play with his activity table, balls
Dislikes: not a big fan of food right now. Not sure if it's teething related or what, but he's picky already. :( 

Whole30

The goal of whole30 is to change the way you think about food by eating moderate portions of meat, seafood, and eggs; lots of vegetables; some fruit; plenty of natural fats; and herbs, spices, and seasonings. Eat foods with very few ingredients, all pronounceable ingredients, or better yet, no ingredients listed at all because they're whole and unprocessed. Whole30 is meant to revolutionize your relationship with food to become a lifestyle change and to help your body (and mind!) feel its very best. Once you’ve mastered the mindset of whole30 living then you can find your “food freedom” and make exceptions/choices as you desire. 

Check out whole30 program rules for complete list of things you can/cannot eat. Here are the main things you CANNOT eat: dairy, sugar or added sugar (real or artificial), grains, legumes, soy, alcohol, baked goods/treats/junk food with approved ingredients. 

I am not fancy in the kitchen and really wanted to keep it as simple as possible so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. There are plenty of veggie/meat/fruit options but these are the ones we eat most so we created meals around those. I ate this complete list below and had a successful whole30 experience both physically and mentally. The first few days are hard, but if you persevere you will be glad you did and, if you let it, it will change your relationship with food permanently! 

Breakfast and snack ideas:

• Scrambled eggs and sliced avocado
• Banana with almond butter (I used Maranatha no sugar or salt added) 
• Handful almonds 
• Sliced apple with drizzled/melted almond butter, cinnamon, salt on top
• Egg casserole (egg whites, mushrooms, lean cooked ground turkey, diced tomatoes, green onions. Mix together and bake at 350 for 1 hour) 
• Sweet potato and egg casserole 
• Rx Bars (blueberry, mixed berry are compliant)
• Larabars (coconut cream pie, cashew cookie as well as a few other flavors are compliant.)
• Carrots or veggies to dip with homemade guacamole (3 avocados, minced garlic, ground coriander, pico, lime juice, salt)
• Hard boiled eggs 
• Fruit (pears, bananas, apples, oranges, strawberries, blueberries, grapes, cantaloupe- mix it up so you don’t get bored and always have fruit on hand to reach for as an easy snack)
• Smoothie (riced cauliflower, strawberries, coconut water, almond milk, spinach, peaches, powdered chia if you want to add protein)
• Sweet potato medallions (slice into medallions. Sprinkle with olive oil, cinnamon, salt. Bake at 425 for 30 min)
• Black Coffee with almond milk or coconut milk if desired 
• All natural 100% fruit juice 
• Water (no water flavorings/packets as those contain artificial sugar, soy, and artificial colors)

Lunch ideas: 

• Salad 
• Protein shake 
• Smoothie 
• Rx or Larabar with fruit 
• Leftovers from dinner (great for breakfast too!)

Dressings/condiments ideas:

• Greek dressing (great as marinade or salad dressing)
• 1.5 cups olive oil
• 3/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 cup lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon parsley flakes
• 1 tablespoon oregano
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper 
• Tessemaes (love the creamy Caesar, Ranch, and Buffalo sauce). Order from Tessemaes website for best price. 
• Red marinated onions (great on top of salads, chicken, everything!)
• Balsamic 
• Oil and vinegar
• No ketchup, BBQ sauce, mayo, butter, jar salsa, etc. because they contain sugar and non-compliant ingredients. Double check seasonings to make sure they are compliant. 

Dinners (not necessarily in this order): 

1. Zucchini boats topped with marinated red onions (above) 
2. Spaghetti squash (microwave for 5 min to soften, cut in half, gut seeds, coat with olive oil, bake at 375 for 45 min) with homemade sauce (1. Brown lean ground turkey with curry powder and garlic powder 2. Combine in crockpot (low 3-4 hours) with diced yellow onion, jar of Muir Glen organic Italian herb pasta sauce, sliced baby bella mushrooms, one can of plain tomato sauce if like more sauce.) Pour meat mixture over spaghetti squash and serve.
3. Baked potato sloppy joes (use leftover meat mixture from zucchini boats to top baked potato) 
4. Taco Salad (every Tuesday) cauliflower rice or lettuce as base, pico, lettuce, lean ground turkey or chicken, homemade guac (above), chopped green onion, cucumber, Lindsey Natural olives, marinated red onions (above), Tessemaes Ranch
5. Crockpot BBQ ribs served with cooked carrots and cucumber salad (diced cucumber, chopped onion, rice wine vinegar, dill weed)
6. Chicken salad on romaine lettuce wraps (cook chicken with curry powder and garlic powder, shred and mix with compliant mayo, chopped green onion, chopped red grapes, salt and pepper). Serve on boat of romaine lettuce. 
7. Salad with chicken, almonds, avocado, sliced apple, oranges, balsamic and olive oil dressing 
8. One pan turmeric chicken served with sliced red potatoes  
9. Salmon (with Greek dressing as marinade) served with asparagus and sweet potato medallions (slice sweet potatoes into rounds. Add sprinkle of EVOO and cinnamon and bake for 20 min at 420 degrees)
10. Shrimp and scallops (saute with minced garlic and olive oil and sliced mushrooms). Serve with sautéed zucchini.
11. Chili lime chicken with potatoes instead of rice 
12. Zucchini chicken poppers with Tessemaes Ranch and roasted broccoli (tossed in olive oil and garlic powder)
13. Red potatoes, carrots, diced yellow onion, sprinkled with garlic powder, parsley, and olive oil in crockpot on low for 5 hours. Serve with grilled chicken or Aidells chicken apple sausage. (Great as leftovers for breakfast!)
14. Aidells Chicken apple sausage bake (1 red onion, 3 zucchini, 2 sweet potatoes, one package chicken apple sausage. Chop, place in baking dish, drizzle olive oil and cinnamon on top, bake at 400 for 35 minutes then bump it up to 425 for another 10 minutes to crisp it up)
15. Steak (marinate with olive oil and salt and pepper), brussel sprouts (cut in half, sprinkle with EVOO, garlic powder and sea salt, roast), and sweet potato medallions (above)
16. Grilled chicken (season with ground turmeric, olive oil, garlic powder, salt and pepper and grill). Serve with pan of chopped roasted veggies: broccoli, cauliflower, grape tomatoes, red onion, toss in olive oil and Italian seasoning. Roast at 400 for 45 min
17. Crockpot sun-dried tomato chicken (cover chicken breasts with garlic powder and jar of julienne cut sun-dried tomatoes and cook on high for 2 hours). Serve with boiled squash and onions. 
18. Chicken kabobs (marinate cubed chicken, sliced red onion, mushrooms, red pepper in Greek dressing (above) then grill on kabob sticks). Serve with grilled asparagus.
19. Tessemaes buffalo chicken (cover chicken in buffalo sauce and bake at 350 for 1 hour). Serve with fresh green beans. 
20. One pan chicken with mushrooms and tomatoes. Serve with roasted cauliflower sprinkled with EVOO and parsley flakes. 
21. Shrimp kabobs. (Shrimp, red pepper slices, and pineapple on kabob. Coat everything in EVOO/minced garlic/coconut aminos/lemon juice/salt/paprika)
22. Balsamic chicken veggie bake 

We did Taco Tuesday and Salad Sunday to make it easy for planning. 

Canaan {10 Months}

I could literally eat him with a spoon. Cutest, sweetest baby EVER.

on.the.move.

Size: 17 lbs on home scale, size 4 diapers, size 9-12 month clothes
Eat: Drinks 5 oz bottle 4 times a day. Loves to eat noodles, muffins, fruit bars, yogurt, Cheerios, goldfish, sweet potatoes, chicken, Mum Mums, and fruit/veggie pouches. 
Sleep: Sleeps 7:30 pm-8:30 am. Naps from 10-12 in the morning and 3-5 pm roughly. 
Milestones: 
~has a top third tooth poking through
~babbling nonono and recognizes Finley as "dog" or "dah"
~has officially outgrown his dairy and soy intolerance!!!
~waves
~pulling up to stand
~crawls a mile a minute around our house. Can't turn your head!
Likes: food, playing on the floor, being outside, water, Finley, swinging, obsessed with turning on the Roomba and taking the door stops off of the wall :) 
Dislikes: being away from Mama, getting hungry or sleepy 

Happy 3rd Birthday, Levi!

On this day 3 years ago at 8:28 am we met our baby boy for the first time. There is no thrill or joy quite like delivering your first born child into the world and seeing that long-awaited face you've imagined for the last 9 months. I sobbed when I heard Levi let out his first cry and as I watched the emotion on Ryan's face as he saw our son take his first breath. Those first few moments together as a new family of 3 are etched into my brain forever. After the commotion of delivery was over and it was just the three of us in the room, Ryan prayed over our little family. I will never forget holding Levi in my arms and looking into his eyes as I listened to Ryan pray for God to bless Levi's life and us as his parents.

Fast forward three years and we see God answering those prayers for Levi and developing him into an amazing little boy. Over the last three years we have watched Levi's personality blossom and have continually been amazed at his vocabulary, comprehension, memory, and how quickly he learns things. Watching him learn and grow has been so much fun for us. He is a thoughtful and caring little boy and I pray he always demonstrates Christ-like compassion and love for others. His teachers say he should grow up to be a doctor because he is always taking care of his classmates... bringing them water when someone is coughing, giving hugs when someone falls down, checking on his friends when they are upset. He is quick to calm Canaan when he cries and assures him: "it's ok Cay-Cay!" He's always thinking of others. I love that about him.

He runs a mile a minute from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed. I love his energy and zest for life. Much like his Daddy, he is almost always in a cheerful mood. He loves to be outside driving his white truck and his clubhouse/swing set is his favorite place to be. He loves to go to church and to school, really loves Pelican's, and his favorite people are Finley (his tender and constant, furry companion), Daddy, and Jayce. He also dearly loves his Mommy and Brother. He loves music and has a whole playlist of favorite songs. I love that about him too.

He has a strong will but also has a strong desire to please. He is well mannered and knows his boundaries. We pray with him each night that he will one day love and follow Jesus and that he will be obedient to us so that one day he will be obedient to the Holy Spirit. He is learning God's Word and has almost memorized Psalm 23 in its entirety. Nothing makes my heart soar like hearing him say those verses. I pray he will understand and know God as his Shepherd who cares and tends to him, leads and comforts him, and restores and protects him.

I think my favorite thing about Levi right now is his affection for us and his friends. He is a lover-- always hugging us and always wanting to snuggle. He calls us back into his room every.single.night for "one more hug." Nearly every day he leans in close and tells us, "Daddy/Mommy, you're my best buddy." My heart skips a beat every time.

It's hard to believe how much he's grown and developed over these last 3 years. It's all happening so fast. While some days feel long, I know time is passing all too quickly. I savor each day I get to spend  with him and Canaan and thank God for two healthy, precious boys. I look forward to watching God mold and shape them and will praise Him for each day, week, month, year I get to love and celebrate them.

Thank you, God, for entrusting us with Levi three years ago today and for each day we've had the privilege of being his Mommy and Daddy. He is the real gift to us.

Happy 3rd birthday, Levi. 

Celebrating the big "3" with his favorite: a chocolate sprinkled donut

In his "clubhouse"

Jayce

Loves his Aunt HaHa

Canaan {9 Months}

Size: 16+ lbs on home scale, size 3 diapers, size 9-12 month clothes
Eat: Nurses/takes bottle 5 times a day. Eats solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner and lots of teething crackers.
Sleep: Sleeps 7:30/45 pm-8:30 am. Naps from 10-12 in the morning and 3-5 pm roughly. 
Milestones: 
~has a second bottom tooth!
~babbling Dada all the time 
~claps on command
~signs "more"
~waves
~scoots around on his bottom (not crawling) and can cross a room in no time to get whatever he wants
~still dairy and soy free but I think it's improving slowly but surely
Likes: bath time. The kid goes bananas in the bath. He scoots around, splashes, steals Levi's toys. It's his favorite place to be. Can't wait to see him in the pool this summer. He loves to go for walks, play with Finley, and loves to play with Legos. 
Dislikes: Not loving food right now. He's in a weird transition from baby food to finger food and doesn't love certain textures in his mouth and gags at them (chunks of banana and avocado particularly). Just got to keep offering and hope that something will stick soon!

Canaan {8 Months}

Size: 16 lbs?, size 3 diapers, size 9 month clothes
Eat: Nurses 5 times a day. Eats solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 
Sleep: Sleeps 7:30/45 pm-8:30 am. Naps from 10-12 in the morning and 3-5 pm roughly. 
Milestones: 
~scooting around on his bottom. He rocks on all fours but not crawling yet.
~bottom front tooth popped through! And two more are not far behind. 
~working on signs for "more" and "milk"
~talks all the time-loves to hear his voice. The louder the better. 
Likes: baby mum mums and puffs, drinking water in his sippy cup, sitting in big boy high chair at restaurants, petting Finley, being with big bro, being outside 
Dislikes: teething :( 

Canaan {7 Months}

Size: 16 lbs, size 3 diapers, size 6-9 month clothes
Eat: Nurses about 5-6 times a day. Eats solids at breakfast and dinner. 
Sleep: Sleeps 7:30 pm-8:30/9 am. Naps from 10:30 am-12:30 pm and 3:30 pm-5 pm roughly. 
Milestones: 
~now sits in the front seat in the stroller 
~sits without support on the floor 
Likes: taking baths with big brother, eating big boy food, riding in the stroller, playing with (Levi's) toys
Dislikes: his highchair, not being held, being away from mommy

Canaan {6 Months}

A half a year with this sweet little thing!! Can't even believe it! Time is flying but we are enjoying every minute with our precious little Canaan. He is so happy and playful and smart. I kiss him a million times a day. He loves interacting with Levi and I look forward to what God will do in their relationship in the days, months and years ahead. 

Size: 14 lbs 11 oz at his 6 month checkup. Doc says he's "long and lean" because he's 72% length and 5% weight. I guess I make skim milk? Ha.
Eat: Still nursing every 2 or so hours during the day- with naps that ends up being about 5-6 times a day. For solids he eats a fruit in the morning and a veggie at night right now. 
Sleep: sleeps 8 pm-8 am usually and takes a two hour morning nap and a 1.5 ish hour afternoon nap. 
Milestones: 
~Sitting up now and plays on the floor with his toys!
~Has eaten lots of veggies! peas, avocado, squash, zucchini, carrots, bananas, pears, sweet potatoes
Likes: grabbing my face with both of his hands, sitting and playing on the floor with his toys, interacting with big brother, singing wheels on the bus, jumping in his jumper, falling asleep in the car
Dislikes: being away from mommy, teething, getting hungry 

Canaan {5 Months}

Size: weighs 15 pounds, wears 6-9 month clothes, size 2 diapers
Eat: Nurses every 2-3 hours or takes 5 oz bottle of breastmilk
Sleep: Canaan goes to bed at 8/8:30 pm and wakes anywhere from 8-10 am. Sleep has not been as predictable this past month. I thought after his 4 month growth spurt was over we were good to go but we've dealt with some sleep regression these last few weeks. Some nights he would sleep 12-13 hours without waking and then others he would wake once or twice a night wanting to eat. Fortunately he nurses quickly and goes right back to sleep. He has slept great the last couple of nights so hopefully we are getting back to 12-13 hour nights. :) He still naps 2-3 times a day and has been so flexible with the craziness of Christmas by napping on the go. 
Milestones: 
~Rolled from back to tummy on Dec. 14
~Had his first bite of food on Jan. 1- peas! Didn't love them.
~No more swaddle
~Takes his Paci in and out of his mouth
~Major teething signs- drooling and constantly chewing on fists/fingers
~Sitting up with help
~Found his toes and loves to grab/hold his feet
Likes: jumping in his jumper! I think we have another jumper lover on our hands. Loves playing with toys, being in mama's arms, when big brother talks and plays with him, baths, playing peekaboo- he smiles and laughs and then buries his head and it's my favorite
Dislikes: being away from mama