Homeowners!

We closed on our home Tuesday, April 8th and could not be more excited or more grateful!! After (nearly) 3 years in a one bedroom apartment, we are thrilled to now be in our very own HOME! While we will not miss living in such tight quarters or hearing everyone and everything around us; I am thankful for our time at CIU, the memories we made, and for the countless ways it grew us as a couple. 

Over the last few years, God has answered many specific prayers about our future. We prayed that He would show us where Ryan could serve in student ministry full time. God was faithful to answer. We prayed that He would provide a way (in every sense of the word) for Ryan to finish his degree and attend seminary. God was faithful to answer. We prayed that He would guide us specifically to the house and community He wanted us to live in. He opened and closed many doors over the last couple of years... but was faithful to answer. 

When we got the green light to start looking, we knew in our minds exactly what we were searching for. We fell in love with this house instantly and prayed that God would be very clear to show us if this was the one for us. We put our best offer in on March 2. We decided we would walk away if they were not able to accept it. As God would have it, on 2:22 p.m. that day, we were signing papers to finalize the deal for this house. Ryan and I looked at the time on my phone and then at each other- stunned. I cannot make this stuff up. The Lord is so kind and once again, so faithful to answer our prayers.

This house is *perfect* for us-- it is more than what we need and everything that we wanted. It gives us space to host our family, friends and students, room to (Lord willing) one day grow our family, a back patio for Ryan to grill, sidewalks for me to run, a fenced backyard for Finley, and will be used as the gift it is- to minister to other people. I look forward to the many memories we will make in this home and for the things God will do while we are here. I pray we will use every square inch for the praise of His glory. 

This was my sweet, sweet view on the first Saturday morning in our house :) My verses for Saturday from my chronological reading plan had me in 1 Samuel 12 and I thought verse 24 was so perfectly fitting: "Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you."

((Hebrews 3:4))

For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.

Refreshed by the Living Water

Holley and I were blessed to attend Shandon's women's ministry retreat in Charlotte March 7-8. My dear friend and mentor, Maria Owens, led the retreat and did a marvelous job. The theme for the weekend was "Refreshed by the Living Water." Holley and I had a wonderful time together and were amazed at how the Lord spoke so clearly to both of us.

While sharing her testimony on Friday night, Maria quoted Jeremiah 29:11-13 (our Dad's life verse). We've all shared, memorized and claimed this verse a million times before, but the second part of verse 13 jumped out at me Friday night almost as if I had never heard it before. "You will seek me and find me, WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART." 

Umm... ALL my heart, huh? So I can't hang on to this little piece and work (fill in the blank) out on my own?

I was convicted in that very moment and could sense the Spirit telling me, "No, Shelley, you've got to surrender all those little things to me. Lay them down."

It was truly an "Ebenezer" moment. 

Living a surrendered life is far more satisfying and glorifying than the alternative. But because we are broken and fallen people, we sometimes turn to our own devices  and temporarily forget what we know is best, holy, true. I found myself in this boat that Friday night when this thought hit me like a tidal wave: I am not experiencing God's peace on this (fill in the blank issue) because I'm not surrendering every piece of my heart to Him. 

Sure, I've prayed about it, dwelt on it, processed it. But I haven't surrendered it.  

Of course this is not something that intentionally happens. I genuinely set out and desire to seek the Lord with my whole heart. But sometimes we get in the way of ourselves. Sometimes we are tricked into believing it's easier to hold on to certain things in an effort to fix it on our own. I trust you with this 95% of my life, God, but I can handle this 5% on my own. 

Anybody else with me on this? 

Good ole Webster defines surrender like this:

: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
: to give the control or use of (something) to someone else

I think that spells it out pretty clearly. To truly live surrendered to Jesus, the gospel... we must give Him total control and daily die to ourselves. We must daily crucify our pride, our "wants" and our self-righteous attitudes so we can be "a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful... ready for every good work." (2 Timothy 2:21) 

Could God use just 95% of me? Yes. But he deserves, is worthy of, and has commanded me to seek Him with 100% of my heart. 

I came across this quote in one of Robertson McQuilkin's books recently that sums all of this up perfectly: "Unconditional surrender and confidence in God’s trustworthiness are necessary to experience the fullness of the life we are meant to have in Christ because they are the very essence of God. Without our daily dying to self and trusting in God’s faithfulness, we are not able to experience the fullness of life God intends for us to have."  

During Saturday's retreat session, Maria walked us through some practical insights to living this refreshed, unconditionally surrendered life. Here are a few: 

1. Make a habit of daily repentance.  
"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus..." (Acts 3:19-20)

2. Remember that God Himself is our only source and supplier of refreshment... and praise Him for that! Any other source will leave us drained and dry. Clean out your "supply closet." Get rid of the illegitimate and ineffective supplies you have used in the past and evaluate your level of refreshment in key areas of spiritual discipline (prayer, Scripture memory, Bible study, worship, giving).

3. Be deliberate and intentional about restocking your "supply closet" with the proper supplies. What are some things that fuel and renew you spiritually and physically? For me it's journaling, running, quiet time with an open Bible, my prayer list and a hot cup of coffee, one-on-one fellowship with someone dear to me. 
 

I've gone back through my notes several times and keep praying that God will continue to rid me of myself so I can surrender ALL I have for His glory. We cannot experience true refreshment or "life in abundance" (John 10:10) until we seek Him with all of our heart. Praise God that, when we do, we will always find Him. 

((Jeremiah 31:25))

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

MB Marathon {less a race than a journey}

On December 1, 2008, 9 days after losing my dad, I began training for my first half marathon. I was fresh in the throes of grief and knew I needed to set my eyes on a goal... not only to help me cope, but to do something that would honor my dad and his long, courageous fight against leukemia. 

I didn't want to run just any race. I wanted to run the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon. My parents were born and raised in Myrtle Beach... high school sweethearts and Miss Sun Fun and Mr. Seahawk Baseball, respectively. I've spent every summer at the beach since I can remember and claim it as my second home. MB was a big part of my dad and is a big part of me. 

Not only was this race in my parent's hometown but the proceeds benefited the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And the most divine part of it all... the race was routed to run past the cemetery where my dad is buried. A place where I stood less than three months earlier to say my last goodbyes. I didn't just want to run this race- I needed to. That race was good medicine for me and the beginning of a very long road.

((WIS caught wind of the story in 2009 and aired an interview which you can watch here. You may be prompted to sign into Facebook to view it.))

Fast forward and here I am. After racing 3 half marathons and a dozen other 5ks and 10ks over the last 8 years, I would have NEVER imagined training for a marathon. I never (EVER!) thought I could run a step past 13.1 miles. 

Thanks to a great summer of running and building some base mileage, I went into the fall prepared to race a 4th half marathon. But between crazy schedules and date conflicts with the races I wanted to run, I couldn't make it happen and decided to just continue with my training regardless. Somewhere along the way I caught the marathon bug. I tried to let it go but my BFF, Megan, persistently convinced me that it was attainable. I could do it. Go for it. So that's what I did. 

October 7 was the start of 18 weeks of marathon training. I am grateful to God that I was able to successfully complete all of my long runs and remain healthy, injury free and motivated for the entirety. Ryan, Holley and Megan were an amazing support system- praying for me and encouraging me day after day, week after week. I was ready, both mentally and physically, when I arrived to the starting line of the Myrtle Beach Marathon on February 15, 2014, but I arrived a different woman than the one in 2009.  

Since my dad passed away 5 years ago, I have covered hundreds of miles and journeyed to a place emotionally and spiritually I never thought I would reach. When I look back on these last 5 years, I am astounded by God's wholly sufficient grace. The pain, once palpable, has subsided. The sorrow and despair that were once all-consuming have been replaced with the hope of heaven and the joy of eternity. The Lord has taught me how to trust Him even when I don't understand His plan. I have learned to rely on His steadfast faithfulness and have "treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." (Job 23:12) 

I miss my dad deeply, right down to my bones- but I count it a privilege to share his story and the legacy he has left behind. A story the Lord has crafted so beautifully for my family to tell. I've said it here before and I'll say it again... Jesus' words about Lazarus in John 11:4 are true for Larry Davis: “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.”

I ran those 26.2 miles on Saturday with peace in my heart and with confidence that God makes no mistakes. I ran past the cemetery a second time, but this time with praise to the God who has used my dad's death to draw people to Himself and who has been my strength, my song and my portion through it all.

When I got to the end of the race on Saturday and started making my way past the orange corridors to the finish line, a man in the crowd caught my eye. A man who looked just like my dad. So much so that my heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I had to look twice. Tears immediately welled in my eyes and I thanked God for His tender, personal love for me. For all of us. I crossed the finish line with our song, Van Morrison's "Have I Told You Lately," playing on my iPod Shuffle. He truly makes no mistakes. 

This journey through loss has not been in vain. Though the Lord has taken away, He has given me sight to focus on the MAIN goal of this vapor we have of a life: "to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." (Acts 20:24)

It's not been me running this race... the Lord has carried me every step of the way. To Him be the glory both now and forever. 
 

My sweet hubby, constant encourager and prayer warrior. So incredibly blessed to call him mine!

Meeting my boo for a kiss and some water at the halfway point!

Finish line in sight!

Almost there...

The best in-laws and cheerleaders a girl could have!!

Crossed the finish line in 4 hours and 51 minutes. My thoughtful husband surprised me with a new Pandora charm for my bracelet when I was done. So, so sweet.

((Acts 20:24))

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace."

Sola Gratia

Happy New Year! Ryan and I have just come off the busiest season of our married lives. These last two weeks of vacation have been so nice and I am so thankful we were able to finally slow down, spend time with those we love, and soak up the Christmas season. Now that we are well rested and recharged, I think we are ready to embrace 2014!

But first, I want to reflect on 2013, and acknowledge the Lord’s faithfulness and kindness to us at every turn. I have seen the Lord provide and answer prayer in both big and small ways this year. Most notably, a prayer that began over a year ago after reading Jesus + Nothing= Everything and intensely studying the book of Ephesians. The Lord used both as a catalyst for spiritual growth in my life and inspired a prayer for Him to show me how to live in, extend and better understand the riches of His grace. 

Grace, unmerited favor, is not something we will ever be able to fully comprehend, is often abused and taken for granted, and can never EVER be earned. Grace saves, sustains, strengthens and secures us. It is wholly sufficient (2 Corin. 12:9) and is lavished on us- freely and generously (Eph. 1:7-8). 

I can testify, on this first day of 2014, that I have experienced the magnitude of His grace on countless occasions (both happy and sad) during this past year. His grace flowed down and covered us through…

-a sweetly blessed and joy-filled year of marriage

-the 5 year anniversary of my Dad’s passing

-the provision of Ryan’s job as Minister of Students at SVBC

-relationships with friends and family members 

-the unexpected (only to us) loss of our dear friend Lex Elkins

-the birth of several precious babies in our lives

-Ryan’s affirmed call to seminary   

-another year of ministry and growing closer to Him as a couple

The most exciting and hopeful thing about God’s grace is that it never runs out. Just when we think we’ve come to the end of it… “he gives more grace" (James 4:6). I praise God for His goodness and for His grace alone that carried us through 2013. I look forward to what the Lord alone will do in our lives and for His glory in this coming year. I am confident that no matter what happens in 2014, His grace will meet us there.

So once again my prayer for this year remains the same… that He will “tune my heart to sing Thy grace.”

((John 1:14, 16 ESV))

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

Birthday #27 & Christmas 2013

Holley & Isaac

The best way to spend a birthday-- with your BFF's 11 day old baby in your arms

We exchanged gifts with the Brannans on Christmas Eve, went to the Christmas Eve service at church and took the annual trip to Waffle House. :) 

Grandkids take #1

Grandkids take #2. Emotions change that fast around here folks!

Fickles smiling but missing David

Noah likes the monogrammed shirts we got him and Jacob

And Addyson likes her smocked dress she got from us too :)

Ryan's FAVORITE gift: a remote control helicopter!

The coolest running shirt ever.

Singing happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas morning!

SVBC Christmas Eve Service with my handsome hubby

Poppy reading the Christmas story

Christmas Day

((Colossians 1:9-14))

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,  so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Duck Dynasty: Food for Thought

Let me start by saying this: Ryan and I love Duck Dynasty and their Christian values. Families who pray together and share the Gospel on television are pretty hard to come by. 

We also believe that all Christians (including Phil Robertson) will, in one way or another, suffer for the glory of Christ (Phil. 1:29). 

However, whatever takes our eyes off of Jesus is not a good thing. How can we remain solely fixed on Christ when so much of our attention is on a TV show (wholesome or otherwise), bad-mouthing A&E, and/or worrying whether or not Phil gets to continue on the show? 

What (or who) are we worshipping here?

In the wise words of John Piper, let us be reminded: “If we make secondary things primary, they cease to become secondary and become idolatrous.” 

Satan is on a relentless pursuit, especially at Christmas, to distract us from the reason for the season and the purpose of our entire existence: the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord. 

 As Believers, we all have a great responsibility and privilege to represent Christ well--whether in word or deed--on television or off of it.

I pray we will readjust our focus, turn our eyes upon Jesus, and "put on the whole armor of God, that [we] may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil." (Eph. 6:11)