The countdown is on. Less than 8 weeks until Levi's due date. Eight weeks (give or take!) until our lives will change forever, we will become a family of three, and Ryan and I will become parents to a sweet little soul. I cannot wait until that moment... when labor begins, we call our loved ones, and we prepare to meet our child, God's child, for the very first time.
The anticipation of a big event is usually very hard for me. The waiting for an upcoming holiday/birthday/momentous occasion is not typically very fun. After years of contemplating it, I believe I am this way because when my Dad was sick, I always anticipated this Christmas or this birthday to be the last one we had with him. So I just wanted time to stand still. I didn't want to celebrate or look forward to a big event because I didn't want it to be my last one with him. I enjoyed, and still do, ordinary days. Days when I didn't have to prepare myself for big emotions and feelings. I could just enjoy them with no expectations.
Before baby, I always envisioned my pregnancy going the same way. Desiring to trust God with every detail, but inevitably worrying over baby's growth and development in utero, fearful of labor and delivery, anxious about what was to come.
But God.
God, being rich in mercy and kindness, has given me peace. By His grace, I have not fretted about Levi's health and safety or about what is to come. The Lord has used this pregnancy to help grow my faith and trust in the One who created this precious life inside of me. Do I have emotional moments? Of course. I am human. And hormonal. :) But I can anticipate Levi's birth and this new chapter of life for us with great expectation and joy because He has assured me that the best is yet to come. This life, and all the beautiful things it holds, is merely a preface to eternity. "Our citizenship is in Heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ." (Philippians 3:20)
I know this because of Easter, the resurrection. Because Jesus kept a promise. Because he defeated sin and death. And ultimately...
Because He Lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. The battle has already been won. He has prepared the way for all of our tomorrow's and will meet us there. "For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)
Because He lives, All fear is gone. He has commanded us: "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
Because I know He holds the future. He has a plan for each of us and His plans are "for welfare and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)
During these last 8 weeks, I pray I will savor every baby kick and hiccup, every moment alone with Ryan, every hour of sleep, and every little and big thing the Lord wants to teach me. I pray I will soak in the present moments and look toward the future... not just in terms of pregnancy, but in terms of faith. I know these days will be gone in a flash and this little boy will soon be in my arms and no longer in my belly. And when he is, I can't wait to sing to him a now sacred verse of this hymn:
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy He gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He lives!
I pray the Lord will help me keep this mindset as He launches us into parenthood because one day, Lord willing, our baby will become a toddler, then a boy, and then a man. I want my life and calling as a disciple, wife, and mother to reflect the love of Jesus so Levi will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and discover the beautiful realization...
Life is worth the living just because He lives.