Judah {3 Months}

This little angel baby has me wrapped around his little fingers. I just adore him and can't imagine life without him. This month has brought us constant smiles and laughs and long 12 hour nights of sleep. He is an absolute joy and goes with the flow.

Size: weighs 13 lbs on home scale, wearing size 2 diapers, 3-6 month clothes.

Eat: Nursing/pumping every 2.5 hours. He usually eats around 6am, 9, 11, 2, 4:30, 6:30pm.

Sleep: Mostly sleeping 11-12 hours at night. He goes to bed at 7 or a little after and usually sleeps until 6/6:30am. I nurse him and put him right back to bed and he sleeps until 9. He takes a solid afternoon nap- usually 2:30-5pm. 

Milestones: rolls from tummy to back when doing tummy time, found his hands and examines them constantly, got our first real belly laugh a few days ago and it was the absolute best :) 

Likes: playing patty cake, when mommy sings, attention from big brothers, being held, lovesssss to laugh and smile and coo, lights up when you make eye contact, being swaddled, watching the fish tank in his crib, loves his mommy's arms. 

Dislikes: still not real satisfied in any seat but hopefully warming up a little to the jumper and high chair. HATES the carseat and traveling. Can't blame him there.

Judah {2 Months}

Laughing :) 

Size: weighs 11.4 lbs on home scale, wearing size 2 diapers, 3 month clothes.

Eat: Judah has been a hungry little guy this past month. He definitely hit a growth spurt at 4 and 6 weeks and wanted to eat constantly. He's now nursing/taking a bottle of breastmilk every 2-3 hours during the day and nursing once a night around 2-4 am. 

Sleep: Sleeping 7-8 hour stretches. We put him down around 7 pm and I do a dream feed around 8:30/9pm. He then sleeps until anywhere from 2-4 am and then nurses again. After that he sleeps until morning- usually around 7 am. So he usually eats at 7, 10, 1, 4, 5:30, 7, 8:30/9, 3 am (roughly). 

Milestones: getting better at tummy time and head strength, rolled from tummy to back, started laughing and smiling voluntarily. Getting 8 week vaccines tomorrow. 

Likes: warm baths, attention, being held, napping on his tummy. 

Dislikes: any kind of seat. I've yet to find any seat that he will sit in happily for long periods of time. Hoping that gets better with age and a little more mobility. 

Judah {1 Month}

Little Judah man, where did the month go?! Seems crazy to think he's been with us for one whole month now. It's hard to remember what life was like before chasing 3 little boys. It has been so nice to have Ryan home with us as we adjust and also a little chaotic with everyone cooped up with nowhere to go. I count my blessings every day for a healthy family and quality time together- it's truly like God gave us a pause button to stop and take in a new baby and transition to life as a family of 5. The days can feel long a lot of times but I'm no less grateful for the gift that these THREE little boys are to me. I pray that my shortcomings as a mother will only point them heavenward and Christ would fill those gaps and voids. 

Size: weighs 9.4 lbs on home scale, wearing size 1 diapers, newborn sleepers.
Eat: Nurses (or takes anywhere from 2.5-4 oz in pumped bottle) every 2-2.5 hours during the day and usually nurses once or twice in the middle of the night- unless he's going through a growth spurt and it's more frequent.
Sleep: Last night (4/24) he gave me his longest stretch at night so far which was 6 hours and 15 minutes! It felt glorious. Would love if that's the start of our new normal! He usually sleeps about 4 hours and then wakes to nurse. I've been trying to put him down by 8 pm each night and then Ryan and I go to sleep around 8:30 too in order to actually get some sleep. Trying to establish a good eat/play/sleep routine during the day now that he's starting to stay awake a little longer. 
Milestones: Sleeping longer stretches at night, surviving his first month of life in a quarantine with two crazy big bros. 
Likes: being swaddled and snuggled close, loud white noise, attention from big brothers, warm baths, riding in the stroller, loves to be chest to chest, the rock n play
Dislikes: being put down, being cold, laying flat on his back in the pack n play 

Bumpdate #3 {37 Weeks}

PTL this is the last bumpdate because these pictures are getting increasingly unflattering :) 

How far along: 37 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 37 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: canary melon

Total weight gain/loss: +25 lbs

Sleep: Definitely been suffering from pregnancy insomnia these last few weeks. It takes me HOURS to fall asleep and then I have trouble staying asleep due to going to the bathroom every 2 hours or just not being able to stay comfortable. I take unisom which helps a lot but it leaves me feeling groggy the next day. So my choices are exhaustion or mental fog. There's no winning really. 

Exercise: ummmmm I'm so tired it's hard to motivate myself to exercise but I am walking when it's not raining. 

Cravings/Aversions: Been hungrier lately which is so funny to me because I've not really had much of an appetite this whole pregnancy. I've eaten a lot of salad and fresh fruits and veggies this pregnancy and haven't really wanted anything sweet. Funny how every pregnancy is different-- I lived on Oreos with Canaan's pregnancy. 

Labor signs/symptoms: consistent BH contractions especially during the night

Best moment: Was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced at my 36 week appointment. Going to the doctor every week now until we meet Judah.

Looking forward to: 2 weeks until Judah's birthday!! TWO WEEKS!!!! Unless he comes earlier than his March 23 induction of course. 

What I miss/What I'm loving: I miss quality sleep. I know I'll soon be waking to nurse a baby but it will at least be more rewarding than what I'm currently enduring at night. And if Judah is an amazing sleeper like his two big bros then we should adjust pretty quickly. I'm loving the anticipation of this little baby. This is most likely the last time I'll ever feel a baby move inside me, the last time I'll experience pregnancy or anticipate labor and delivery. It's been a long, sweet season but I'm ready to raise these 3 little brothers and start our next chapter as a family of 5. 

Bumpdate #3 {33 Weeks}

Picture courtesy of Levi :) I feel like I've reached the point where my face is starting to swell so when I think I'm smiling it doesn't appear that I'm actually smiling. Ha!

How far along: 33 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 33 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: pineapple

Total weight gain/loss: +21 lbs 

Sleep: occasional charley horses and heartburn at night. 

Exercise: walking my 3 mile neighborhood route every chance I can. Very thankful warmer temperatures are coming back. Now if only this rain would go away... 

Cravings/Aversions: steady diet of Prilosec and Tums :) 

Labor signs/symptoms: none 

Best moment: Got a ton of sweet newborn pajamas in the mail from Aunt Megan this week. I needed some new ones and she picked out 6 really cute ones. Can't wait to see him in them all! Aunt Holley got us a new kitchen seat too so now all we need to collect is some diapers. 

Looking forward to: Only one more bumpdate to go!!!! I NEEED to meet this child! Only 6 more weeks until induction! 

What I miss/What I'm loving: Same story here- I really miss sleeping on my stomach and just being comfortable. I daydream about running and working out. Ready to hit it hard this spring. My favorite thing about this pregnancy by far has been hearing Levi and Canaan talk to baby Judah. Particularly Levi who is incredibly excited to meet his new brother. He talks to Judah in my belly all day long, prays for him, and is already plotting their future brother adventures. He has been so obsessed with my growing belly and all of the ultrasounds-- wanting to hear the heartbeat and see what Judah looks like. He even says "bye baby Judah!" to my belly whenever I drop him off at school in the mornings. It's really the sweetest thing. Canaan also loves to hug my belly and say, "I love youuuu baby Judah!" Can't wait to see the 3 of them together. 

Bumpdate #3 {29 Weeks}

How far along: 29 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 29 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: acorn squash 

Total weight gain/loss: +21 lbs

Sleep: Had my first Charley horse in my right leg the other night and have experienced some restlessness at night in my legs ever since. Sleeping fine but still up a lot to go to the bathroom and to eat Tums :) 

Exercise: walking 3 miles several days a week and feeling great 

Cravings/Aversions: Still no real appetite. I don't have a lot of room and get full very fast. Just eating small meals and drinking lots of water. 

Labor signs/symptoms: occasional BH contractions, crazy heartburn that feels like fire in my throat, lots of low pressure, measured 30/31 weeks at my 28 week appointment  

Best moment: Passed my glucose test (despite all the fudge I ate at Christmas!) and baby was head down at my 28 week appointment. He should stay that way for the duration. Levi and Canaan were both head down at 28 weeks and remained in that position until birth. 

Looking forward to: doing a 3D ultrasound tomorrow! :) I'm also just really ready to experience newborn life. I keep dreaming about his little face, the moment we meet him, becoming a family of 5, discovering our new normal, and nursing him for the first time. Really looking forward to inducing at 39 weeks-- only 10 more weeks from today! 

What I miss/What I'm loving: I miss sleeping on my stomach, running, my normal (smaller) wardrobe, etc. I am loving all the movement in my belly-- Judah is an active little thing so I'm grateful for the constant reminder of a little person in there! Also loving the amount of cleaning and purging we've done since Christmas. My nesting instincts have been in overdrive ever since we put Christmas back in a box. If it has a surface then it's been cleaned around here! Also got rid of three trash bags full of clothes and toys. Feels nice to make room for another little boy! 

Bumpdate #3 {25 Weeks} & Big Bros

How far along: 25 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 25 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: head of cauliflower

Total weight gain/loss: +18 lbs

Sleep: Sleeping well at night minus some heartburn when I lay down. I'm feeling really fatigued in the afternoon (starting around 2 pm) and then get a second wind in the evening. 

Exercise: I mean who has time for exercise through the holiday eating season? haha :) I'm doing what I can when I can... mostly walking and weights for my arms. 

Cravings/Aversions: I haven't had much of an appetite the last few weeks. I eat breakfast, a snack/light lunch, and then a small dinner. I do not have room for 3 big meals nor am I hungry for it. 

Labor signs/symptoms: still feeling BH contractions but definitely not as frequent or as intense as a few weeks ago. Also keep feeling a very real sensation like my milk is letting down-- so my body is definitely getting ready to nurse a baby. I'm soooo ready to nurse again!

Best moment: bought a new car last week (a 2019 Chevy Traverse!) to make room for Judah! As much as I loved my Sonata, it just wasn't going to fit 3 car seats. The boys are loving our new ride and mama is too :) 

Looking forward to: less than 100 days to meeting this little one!! 

What I miss/What I'm loving: I miss my normal jeans... and my normal waistline if I'm being honest. ;) I'm loving watching Levi and Canaan blossom into their personalities and who God has created them to be. We feel incredibly blessed to be their parents. 

I want to give an update on the big brothers while they are the only children. They have grown so much lately in every way and I wish I could freeze time with them and fast forward to meeting Judah all at once. Here goes:

Levi

Age: 4y7m

Interests: sports! Watching and playing any kind of sport. He's obsessed with football and insists on wearing his red Gamecock jersey/pants/helmet every single day. All three boys play a game of tackle football every night after dinner in our bedroom. Levi is not afraid to tackle and loves to keep score to know who is winning. He knows nearly every detail of Carolina's football season and can tell you what games we won and lost. He has watched the games multiple times and has learned a lot about the game of football. He also really likes basketball right now and plays outside every day after school on his new big boy goal. He is great at dribbling and shooting. We really believe he's going to be quite an athlete so it's fun to watch him learn more about each sport and practice too.

Since he started school in August I can see a lot more maturity in him. He wants to obey and is a very good listener at school (with the most good "green" choices on his sticker chart in class). He instinctively knows the best/right decision and most of the time strives to obey. He's definitely a leader. He is a great big brother and plays really well with Canaan. They can get into trouble together but Levi also loves on him and helps him clean up/get dressed/make good choices.

Spiritually speaking he has really learned a lot this semester. We've seen a lot of growth here and I really believe that is the reward of earnest prayer. For his age, he is very much aware of God and spiritual things. I'm sure being a pastor's kid has something to do with that as he's constantly exposed to church, faith, etc. He has a lot of questions about Jesus and particularly about going to heaven and what it's like there. He says often that "he loves Jesus" and has a strong interest in reading his Bible and just having his Bible with him. He really loves to pray and there is truly not a single day that we don't all pray together before bedtime and he doesn't let me forget to pray for him and Canaan before school each morning. He also loves to be the one to pray before each meal (actual, thoughtful prayers), when an ambulance passes, when a friend is sick or has misbehaved, when a football player is injured on TV. He seems to understand the importance of prayer and brings it up on his own- he wants to pray all the time.

He has a very tender and compassionate heart. I think his love language is quality time... he always wants us to be together as a family and is best when we are all doing an activity together (driving to look at Christmas lights, playing football/basketball, watching a movie, cooking something in the kitchen, everyone sitting together for meals).

He's very's inquisitive... about everything and definitely learns by seeing and then doing. If he's got a flaw it would be the amount of questions he asks everyday. :)

He's strong willed and persistent and won't stop until he has the answer he's looking for-- could be about anything-- math problems, the score of a game, when can we go outside, etc. He is a master negotiator with phrases like "so what if we did this..." daily coming from his mouth. He's also very particular and has to have things a certain way and in a certain order (needs his blankets on his bed "just so" before he can go to sleep and must have the same bed time ritual each night). I won't lie, he gets that OCD honest from his mama.

To be a little boy, he's very tidy and is great about cleaning up a mess. He knows to put his dirty clothes in the hamper, to put clean clothes back in his drawer, and cleans up toys when he's done. He gets himself dressed, brushes his own teeth, bathes himself, and even properly buckles himself in his car seat.

He likes to keep his hands busy and cannot get bored. When he does, he gets in trouble. He loves to write and trace words-- he has excellent penmanship for his age. He has his own notebook that he writes in (because he sees me journal) and loves to write words, numbers, spell words, and is even doing some simple addition. He also loves building Lego blocks and shooting nerf guns. His favorite color is red and wants all of his things to be red-- clothes, undies, pens, notebooks.

He's a very joyful, kind, energetic, smart kid. His mood is steady and he doesn't throw tantrums or fits. Sure, he complains and whines like every other kid but 99% of the time he is in a cheerful mood. He's very affectionate and kind and frequently stops what he's doing to just say I love you or give us a hug. He even has his very first crush at school... a little girl named Chloe. He talks about her a lot and they write notes and color pictures for each other and send little gifts back and forth through their backpacks. It's pretty cute and very innocent... he just thinks she's a great friend. Which is fine by me.

Dislikes: being out of routine, being cooped up for too long, very disappointed when we are unable to fulfill on a promise, when we are upset with him, when he gets in trouble.

Canaan

Age: 2y4m

Interests: playing with his Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys. The kid is obsessed with all things Buzz and takes him everywhere he goes. He loves watching movies (Toy Story 1-3 and The Grinch on repeat right now). He also loves to snuggle and wants to be as close to you as possible. He's the kid in the class that's always in the teacher's lap and is always asking one of us to hold him or "I want to hold you, Mommy/Daddy."

He's done great with his first few months of school! He goes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and is excited when we pull in the parking lot each morning. Hasn't cried a single time and is always so happy to be at school. He is home with me on Thursdays and we spend sweet quality time together but he doesn't like to be without Levi for long and is constantly asking to "go get brudder". 

He likes to push the limits and see how much he can get away with. He's definitely more mischievous than Levi. Nearly every day I will find Canaan in the pantry with the door closed and climbing up the racks to reach the candy or elbow deep in a bag of chips. He likes to fish through cabinets and get into things. He is the reason child locks exist. :) I never baby proofed a thing with Levi and somehow Canaan has mastered the art of getting past the locks. 

He wants to do anything that brother does and keeps up with him really well. He plays football and basketball with the boys and follows Levi to do whatever he is doing. I love their friendship and love for each other. They really are the best of friends. 

We are constantly working on discipline with Canaan right now to help him understand how to make good choices. It feels like some days all we do is discipline but Ryan and I both feel strongly that the more discipline you do early and often helps shape who they become later. The goal is to hold them tight and keep them close when they are little so you can slowly release and let them go into the world as they get older. 

His favorite playmate is "brudder" but he plays well by himself too. He's very easily entertained by all his toys, trucks, books, little Paw Patrol and Toy Story action figures, and anything on a screen.

Canaan is a very sweet, happy kid but definitely a little bit more emotional than Levi. He is sensitive and can get upset over stolen toys, being tackled by brother, not getting his way, etc. Where Levi would just let it roll, Canaan is more likely to react. 

He loves to be outside- riding his little bike, swinging, going on walks, digging in the dirt with his shovel. Both boys really love music and are CONSTANTLY requesting songs in the car. They mostly listen to what we listen to but they have their favorites and want to hear them on a loop. 

Canaan is a little sugar and spice... incredibly sweet, cuddly, and affectionate but will give you the side eye in a heartbeat. I love his little personality and how God made them so uniquely. 

Dislikes: any food minus yogurt and cliff bars- he is soooo picky right now, being disciplined, being told no, when we are upset with him. 

Bumpdate #3 {22 Weeks}

How far along: 22 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 22 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: coconut

Total weight gain/loss: +16 lbs

Sleep: Sleeping well minus my many trips to the bathroom!  

Exercise: I decided a couple of weeks ago to change up my exercise routine and do some weighted workouts at home. The last few times I attempted to run it was just too uncomfortable for my bladder. That became the only thing I could think about while I was running and it just was not enjoyable. So now I'm walking when the weather is nice and doing a 30 minute workout with weights 4 times a week. 

Cravings/Aversions: GIMME ALL THE SALADS!! Otherwise my appetite has been kind of suppressed lately. Not really hungry for much of anything and nothing sounds great. 

Movement: Feel kicks and thumps all day and all night! Truly a feeling that never gets old. 

Labor signs/symptoms: Braxton Hicks contractions have started... I feel them just about every day but they pass quickly. 

Best moment: Hitting the halfway point! Woohoo! 

Looking forward to: the holidays :) Enjoying Thanksgiving and Christmas for the last time as a family of four. 

What I miss/What I'm loving: Not missing much right now other than running, energy, and not having to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. :) I love that we've chosen a name for our baby boy... Judah Kendale Brannan. 

Judah means “praise” and we pray that he will live his life to the “praise of God’s glorious grace.” Kendale is both Ryan’s and his dad’s middle name, men after God’s own heart. I pray that Judah grows up to be loving, kind, tender-hearted, and passionate about God’s Word just like his Daddy and his Papa. We cannot wait until March to put a precious face with his name! 

“She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘This time I will praise the Lord.’ So she named him Judah.” [Genesis 29:35]

Bumpdate #3 {17 Weeks}

How far along: 17 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 17 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: pomegranate

Total weight gain/loss: +9 lbs

Sleep: Sleeping hard at night but still getting up several times to go to the bathroom. 

Exercise: running or doing Insanity 3-4 times per week. Oh and chasing a 2 and 4 year old. 

Cravings/Aversions: normal appetite. Definitely not craving super healthy things but trying to eat as clean as possible during the week so I can have a cheat meal on Saturdays. 

Movement: Felt the first flutters almost a week ago and look forward to more pronounced movement. 

Labor signs/symptoms: hopefully none for a very long time ;)

Best moment: Finding out baby #3 is a boy! Excited for another little brother :) 

Looking forward to: Anatomy scan next week! 

What I miss/What I'm loving: I've felt pretty tired lately so I miss being able to stay energized all day long. I love that we've chosen a name for this little guy-- more on that to come! 

Bumpdate #3 {13 Weeks}

13 weeks with baby #3

How far along: 13 weeks {See Levi's and Canaan's 13 week bumpdates here}

Size of baby: Lemon 

Total weight gain/loss: +8 lbs

Sleep: I've been taking unisom+B6 (per my doctor in place of rx) at night so I sleep like a baby when I'm not in the bathroom. I feel like my bladder is finally starting to adjust this week- I'm not up quite as many times as I have been these last several weeks. 

Exercise: Running 4 times a week, 3-3.5 miles each time

Cravings/Aversions: I started this pregnancy OBSESSED with carrots dipped in ranch. Could not get enough. Went through several bags of carrots. Then from 6.5-8 weeks I was sick as a dog and didn't want to think about or look at food. I've felt GREAT since 8 weeks and haven't really had any cravings or aversions. Just eating whatever tastes good :) 

Movement: No movement yet but waiting on those flutters. 

Labor signs/symptoms: hopefully none for a very long time ;)

Best moment: Seeing baby on ultrasound at 10w1d. All looked perfect and baby was measuring 10w3d and wiggling around. Heart rate was 175 bpm and I've never been more relieved to hear that beautiful beating sound. I also received my first baby gift yesterday at church from my sweet friend Lindsay- a monthly milestone blanket and weekly pregnancy Scripture cards! 

Looking forward to: Gender ultrasound NEXT WEEK!!! 

What I miss/What I'm loving: I miss my normal energy/stamina during workouts/running but I'm loving dreaming about a third baby in our house. The boys are excited and pray every day for the baby in my belly. 

Canaan {16 Months}

Size: 21 lbs, size 5 diapers, 18 month clothes

Sleeps: 7/7:30 pm - 8 am, naps from 1:30-3:30 (and sometimes in the morning too from 9:30-11:30)

Words: uh oh, mama/mommy, dada/daddy, bubba, HaHa, dog, duck, bye bye, sock, ho ho ho

Milestones:
~Correctly identifies people and objects
~has 10 teeth and currently cutting a few more
~uses utensils really well!
~identifies head, tongue, nose, eyes
~shakes head yes and no
~waves night night and bye
~had Hand Foot Mouth the first week of November and another virus first week of December

Loves:
music and dancing, his popcorn popper toy, books, balls (especially the basketball), trucks, his color fun fish bowl, being outside- swinging or playing in the driveway, playing football with dad and brother, cuddling with mama, his paci and loveys, playing peekaboo/where's Canaan, petting/playing with Finley, picking up brother from school, when daddy comes home, Little Blue Truck books

Favorite foods:
yogurt, fruit, cliff/kind/nutrigrain bars, peas, chips, cookies, smarties, popsicles, carrots

Dislikes:
when Levi is at school, when mommy drops him off at childcare

Less like Jonah, More like Jesus

photo by my dearest Sally at Heart and Glory Photography

This morning as I was folding the laundry I prayed for the Holy Spirit to open my ears, my eyes, my mind and my heart for whatever the day would hold. I prayed for my people, one by one, as I folded each item of their clothing and thanked God for another day to be wife and mom. 

I've had a hard couple of weeks with Levi. Nothing serious, just normal things that every parent to preschoolers endure. He is an amazing kid- smart, athletic, funny. But at three and a half he has developed his own (strong) will. And as his parents, we've been given the great task of shepherding that will of his towards the will of God. 

In a moment of confession during my prayer/laundry time this morning, the Lord indeed opened my eyes to a weak spot in my parenting. But He also opened my heart to His grace... 

These last couple of weeks I have been simultaneously disciplining Levi for not listening the first time I ask him to do something and also writing a commentary on Jonah for my Old Testament class. It seems obvious that I would make the connection before now, but here's proof that when we invite the Holy Spirit into our problems, He will certainly give us vision to see where we should repent and turn back to God. 

The story of Jonah is one of redemption. Jonah is given an assignment by God to take His Word to the people of Nineveh. Instead of obeying the first time, Jonah flees to Joppa to catch a boat to Tarshish- the exact opposite direction of Nineveh. Aboard this boat to Tarshish, Jonah and the other sailors are caught in a storm. They cast lots and Jonah was thrown into the sea to calm the storm. God provides a big fish to swallow Jonah and there he stays for three days and three nights (a foreshadowing of Christ's burial and resurrection!) praying and contemplating his choices. 

At first glance it seems that being swallowed by a big fish is not the best case scenario for Jonah. But a closer look reveals that God "appointed" this big fish to rescue him. Inside the fish Jonah prays for mercy and deliverance and then the fish ejects him onto dry land. Jonah is given a second chance to deliver God's message to Nineveh and he obeys. 

You see, this obedience problem is not just with three and a half year olds. It was a problem for Jonah and it's a problem for me and you. But the good news is, we have a Savior to rescue us from ourselves. He provides a big fish, second chances, and unending grace. His desire is always for his children to obey the first time, but He knows we are not perfect. Most of the time we are more like Jonah than we are like Jesus and we run the opposite direction of our God-given assignment. 

So as I put away the clothes this morning, I thank God for His Holy Spirit and His Word that is "breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16) I pray the next time I'm tempted to be frustrated over someone else's sin, I will remember the grace and kindness of my Heavenly Father who desires my obedience the first time too.  

The same God who rescued Jonah is the same God who rescues Levi and me. He is our patient and perfect Parent, "a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." (Jonah 4:2) 

A Decade.

Big thank you to the lovely and talented Heart and Glory Photography for our family pictures. 

Today marks ten years since the passing of my dad. It’s been a decade since I’ve heard his voice. A decade of life that he was not here to experience with us. While much of the sting of grief has subsided, there will always be an ache and longing to have him here to see our children grow up, to hug him, and to hear his wisdom and laughter. But the Lord, in His kindness, has carried me through the heartache and has “redeemed the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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Over this decade God has graciously replaced my paralyzing grief and anxiety with a new song. A song of peace and joy. Joy because I was his daughter for nearly 22 years. Joy because of the Gospel and the promise of a new heaven and a new earth. Joy because I can look back on a decade and see His hand of faithfulness. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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When I remember my dad, I remember his steadfast faith. He was not perfect, as none of us are. But he stood firm on the truth of God’s Word and modeled for me an unwavering love of Christ and of the spiritual disciplines of prayer and Scripture memorization. Through cancer and constant affliction from this “thorn in the flesh,” he was never shaken. Not because he was a flawless human being, but because he was deeply rooted in Christ Jesus. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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When God gave me “rooted” as my word for the year, I didn’t know all the ways He would use it to minister to me. As each day and month has passed in 2018 I’ve seen this concept unfold in the roses in my front yard and in the spiritual pruning of my heart. As I come to this ten year anniversary and the close of 2018, I now see that God chose “rooted” not just for me, but as a way to commemorate my dad’s life. 

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His life reminds me of the bigger Story. As followers of Christ, we are planted in the Good Soil and refreshed by the Living Water so that we “may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, THAT HE MAY BE GLORIFIED.” (Isaiah 61:3)⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

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May we each experience joy in all seasons as we plant our roots deeply in Him. I pray that God would till the soil of faith to bear fruit that tells of His goodness for decades to come. 

This is my story, this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

Canaan {12 Months}

There are just no words to explain our love for Canaan- our sweet one year old! I don't know how a year has passed so quickly but I am sure that our love for him has grown with each passing day. He is incredibly sweet and snuggly and really loves his people. He lights up when he sees his Dada, is so excited to play with big brother, is always in Mama's arms or at my feet, and adores dropping the ball for Finley (aka "Dah"). He is the most precious little boy-- my heart truly skips a beat for my cute little buddy. 

My perspective this time around has been much different than with Levi. I am more relaxed and more at peace with who I am as a mom (and in my abilities!). With that said, God has calmed my worries and fears enough to help me soak in Canaan and truly enjoy this first year. Other than the first few weeks of nursing through the night, I can't think of a time that I was stressed or really that overwhelmed. He was so perfectly made for our family that it feels like we brought him home from the hospital and never skipped a beat. God has graciously blessed and eased our transition to a family of four. I couldn't imagine our lives without him and I'm eternally grateful that God allowed us to be his parents.

Size: (almost) 19 lb lil peanut :), size 4 diapers, 12 month clothes
Eat: 24 ounces of whole milk each day in sippy cup. He still lovessss yogurt, cereal bars, goldfish, chicken nuggets, veggie straws, bananas, mandarin oranges and really any fruit. Trying really hard to get some good nutrition in him but it's hard.  
Sleep: sleeps 7/7:30 pm-8:30 am. Naps 10:30 am-12:30 and 2:30-4:30 pm. Thank you Jesus for the gift of sleep! Starting to occasionally let him skip morning nap and just take one long nap after lunch (12:30-3:30)
Milestones: 
~has top tooth!
~babbling mama... finally!! He can now say Dada, Mama and Dah (for dog) :)
Likes: dancing to music cannot be overstated. This kid loves to jam!! He loves to play with Levi's workbench and absolutely loves his loveys. 
Dislikes: his highchair :( He'll sit contently for about 5 minutes and then he's done. So I have to make sure he shovels in as much food as possible before he melts down.